What’s that incessant, deafening honking noise heard all the way from South Africa’s soccer stadiums?

It’s the vuvuzela, of course. World Cup teams are complaining bitterly (players can’t hear each other or the referee’s whistle). Stadium ticket holders are blown deaf on one or both ears. TV directors are throwing up their arms in despair. Flooded with viewer complaints, the BBC is now looking into ways to cancel the noise from its World Cup broadcasts.

South African officials have suggested that foreigners should just embrace the South African way of celebrating. No, it’s not a traditional instrument any more than a car horn is. Instruments make music. The vuvuzela just honks. And it’s not traditional either. Vuvuzelas have only become popular in the 1990s, and the cheap plastic models are nothing but a recent fad. Probably made in China.

Vuvuzela. Vuvuzela! Just about the only nice thing to say about it is the word itself! I absolutely love it!

So much so that I propose we adopt secondary uses of the word as it enters the English language, such as:

Don’t talk like a vuvuzela! (Used in arguments).

Sarah Palin is such a vuvuzela. (I’m not trying to make a political statement here).

Don’t vuvuzela us! (Said to Sarah Palin).

My editor just gave me the vuvuzela because I missed my manuscript deadline.

Oops …

Reinhard Kargl

Journalist and media professional currently based in Los Angeles, California. Focusing on science and technology.